What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 19.06.2025 07:20
(And it was in our own minds.)
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
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I could never make a relationship work though!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
She married twice! .
Why is Donald Trump criticized by so many people?
I have no regrets .
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
This is soul school!.
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He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Do you think Japan will have same-sex marriage by 2030?
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
We all went to grammer schools
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Why are most girls not open to the idea of anal sex?
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
How does a person become transgender?
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
What was your embarrassing moment in front of your father-in-law as an Indian daughter-in-law?
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I always feel very tired after I do some exercises, even after a night's sleep. What's the problem?
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
What is the best way to get my wife to become a hotwife?
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Are there any men who have sex with male dogs?
She found it foreign!.
I never cut or harmed myself..
He resisted the act ,that day.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I waited trembling.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I was 9 years of age.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
She loved him until the end.
As i do to all so called friends.?
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
I will be 64.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
But it wasn’t much.
Im still living with it.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
My family never makes their pension either.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
I know ,a lot about trauma.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Was to survive, this bastard.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
We were not on the streets..
And i lived it daily.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Put me off passion for life!!
On the 31st of Jan this month .
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Would this be the day?
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Who then, do I blame.?
He knew the spot.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
I said to her
But ive been too sick for many years..
I had hoped to write a book about this .
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
But, we were locked up after school.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
When she asked me how she looked .
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
So whats the point in blame.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Ive learnt so much.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
All the time i was locked up.
I was seconnd youngest,
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Especially a lifetime of it.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
She was in good health!
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I couldn’t, believe it.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
What did i know ?
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I write beautiful poetry .
I don,t even have a pension.
My life is so biszare .
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
This is how, and why children get BPD.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Im dying but, im not bitter.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Why did i forgive my father ?
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
So, i spoilt her more .
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
She wouldn,t have been !
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
It was going to be , some day.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
My mum and dad in the seventies!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I think the readers, may guess!
Comes on , in middle age.
I was very sick at this time too.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
I was scared of men, in general
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
One cannot live in the past .